Everything is so different now. I was put in a foster care with 3 other children, four kids in a small 2 bedroom house. Isn’t this illegal to have this many foster kids in one house? Well, I honestly wouldn’t know because this is my first time ever being here.
Jeff, well Jeff hasn’t done anything since I was sent away. I mean he said a few “no don’t go, you’re my daughter.” It wasn’t even him shouting it was one of those, “I don’t really care but let’s act like I do” kind of thing. Not that I wanted him to care, but no one has cared for me in a while. The counselor at my school doesn’t count because she’s literally getting paid to care about me and talk to me.
My foster parent always says, “I want you guys to be able to call me mom, I feel a strong connection between us and I think its right for you to call me mom.” Every time I hear that women say that my mind goes back to me just sitting on the hospital floor helpless watching my mom slowly die, I know seems severe but that’s just how it was for me. The woman always allows me to once a week go to my mothers grave an put some flowers around it. But lately I haven’t wanted to go see her, it’s just hard to think I wasted my last minutes with her.
Counseling, of course someone whos mother had recently past an their father is a “come an go” person needs to be put in counseling. I was, and it sucks. I hate it, the people there act like they know exactly how I feel. I mean I understand they read books about people like me but they aren’t or ever will be in my position, so whenever I’m there I just want them to shut up an let me leave.
There is one kid in the foster home named Chris and he is partially in the same position I am except kind of flipped around a bit. His mom is an alcoholic and is in an out of his life and his father is a 3 time surviving cancer patient but they think the next time he won’t survive. This is why Chris was put in foster care early for “his sake”. Chris and I have this little place in the back yard where a half tree fort is built. It’s stable enough to hold us but if another person ever came up we would fall. We always talk about how our lives would be if we both had loving parents who would do anything for us an would never get extremely sick or even drunk.
I imagine my life would be wonderful. My mom would have a great paying job but wouldn’t be gone all the time and Jeff would be a part time hard worker and then be a part time dad and husband to me an my mom. But then I have to snap back into reality and notice this could NEVER happen to me. He’s too drunk to notice how much he has hurt and torn apart our family.
