Thursday, September 16, 2010
Silent Library
SILENCE! 1,2,3 *grab the cards*...1,2,3 *flip the cards*..Tommy, Allie, Peter, Cal, Savannah, and the other Tommy are all participating in "The Silent Library". This is the last round and they knew they had to be quiet. Allie got the X..dah dah dahhhh! Tommy spins the wheel and to see what she has to do. "Spit balls" Everyone is trying not to laugh knowing what is all going to hit her. Allie goes and get the goggles and puts them on. Everyone else on the team grabs a spit ball pen and two pieces of paper. 1,2,3! Everybody starts firing their spit balls. Three of them all go to her hair. "EW!" Allie silently screamed. The last spit ball flew into her mouth..nobody could hold back their laughter any longer. "hahahahahahahahahahahahaha" everyone was grabbing their stomachs because of laughing way to hard. "You have failed.." said the asian man who stands at the counter with a buttload of money..."ugh, we've only earned $200 each" Tommy said walking out taking the little money he earned. Allie was on the verge of puking while walking out. Everyone else grabbed their money and left. THE END! (:
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Hmmm...very confusing. You will need to do some editing here. Break this into separate paragraphs so the reader has some sense of the action. Also...what is the point?
ReplyDeleteI think it gave a good sence of this show discribing with people from this class. I like this show......Mrs. Reagles you would have to watch this show to understand this post I guess
ReplyDeleteMrs. Reaglesl, Haha well it's hard to explain so you would have to watch though show to understand. It was just a little short story made up in one paragraph haha.
ReplyDeletebeing at the same table when you wrote it I under stand it. The reader won't understand what you are talking about if you would start early in the time the story is taking place more people could understand it.
ReplyDeleteI thought the story was hilarious! I love the line about the Asian man with the buttload of cash. It really was funny
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